Hello

This is my venture into the world of blogging. All the wrong reasons have brought me here.  Firstly a bit about me;  I am a 33 year old male, professionally qualified in mental health health care and was born and lived in the United Kingdom all my life. I have a modest wage, live with my mother now, and remain engaged to a beautiful woman, whom I am in now in no position now to marry.  Up until 4 years ago my life was pretty ordinary but good, until one fateful day I discovered the "joys" of online gambling on the slots.  4 years on brings me to where I am now.  Throughout the course of a few months, starting off with small bets I eventually found myself winning more and more to the point I had a substantial sum in my bank account. As time drew on and a few years passed I have found myself in financial peril to the sum of about £30,000 through reckless gambling and chasing loses.

These events have brought me to a place in my life when I decided ENOUGH is ENOUGH, albeit a little late for that, though I guess we have to stop sometime.  My last big gamble was while back and I lost a significant amount however I continued to play on for smaller stupid amounts until the lights turned back on in my brain.  Sick to the stomach and just fed up, I retreated to bed and had a long hard think why I was doing this.  It was never about the money. It was just an outright addiction and adrenaline rush and if I had to win 50k, would I have kept going and going until I lost the lot.  The answer was yes.  I needed help, I needed to stop and when I woke up today I was stopping no matter how hard.  The relationship was over and it was time to set up payment plans, work out how I could survive financially, literally speaking it was time to 'pay the piper'.

Today I set up this blog as day 1 of the first day of my new life. I am going to keep it as an online diary into the venture of a new life as a non gambler, highlighting every day the thoughts, feelings and anything else that falls into my psyche. Everyday instead of playing slots I shall find myself blogging about another day of being gamble free.

I hope people will read this blog and share the journey with me. With people behind me and giving support I hope together we can all stay clear of this curse that not only wrecks bank accounts but wrecks lives to.